


Pretender

by drainaxx



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Wonhoon, M/M, Memories, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22528726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drainaxx/pseuds/drainaxx
Summary: "If only I were able to chooseHow we metWhy we metIf only I were able to express my feelingsIn a different wayIn a different styleBut wishing all of this is pointless"- Pretender, Official HIGEDANdism--"Wonwoo, I'd like you to meet Junhui!"Those words kept ringing in Wonwoo's head everytime he sees Mingyu. Because those words reminded him of the time where he lost.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Pretender

"Wonwoo, I'd like you to meet Junhui!"

Those words kept ringing in Wonwoo's head everytime he sees Mingyu. Because those words reminded him of the time where he lost.

\---

_"My love story with you_  
_as expected_  
_was a one-man's play as soon as it began_  
_I'm always by your side_  
_and yet I'm just watching you"_

Wonwoo and Mingyu. They've been neighbors since he was 5 and Wonwoo has fell in love with the younger since he was 8. It might seem a little young but Wonwoo remembers the exact moment his heart fell through. 

"Wonwoo-hyung, look!!!" Mingyu exclaimed from the swing. "I can stand on the swing!!"

They were playing on the nearby park that day. Not a lot of people were around, just two girls about 3 years younger were playing on the sandbox while their mother was chatting away on her phone. The sun was still bright up, but it brought a certain orange tint indicating that it's almost time for sunset.

Mingyu and Wonwoo were the only ones playing on the playground where slides and swings and other climbing grounds are available for the children.

Wonwoo turns his head towards the swing from where he was going to slide down the slide set. He only chuckled at the sight. He knows that Mingyu would always try to impress him starting from how he was able to build a house using building blocks (which proceeds to fall after his hand accidentally slaps it) or how he was able to help his mom make cookies (which he puts a little too much salt, making the cookies really salty).

His endearment was cut short because Mingyu started swinging and managed to fall off the swing face first to the ground with a loud crack. Panic painted Wonwoo's face as he quickly slide down to approach him.

"You okay, Gyu?" Wonwoo asked as he helped Mingyu sit down. The younger was holding his nose that started to trickle with blood. "Your nose......"

"Wonwoo-hyung.... It hurts.... I can't feel my nose....." Mingyu started as tears started to pool from his eyes.

Wonwoo quickly took a look around for something that could help stop the bleeding. He could ask the woman with the two girls, but it seem she was still on a pretty heated conversation and Wonwoo doesn't really want to get into a bigger trouble.

"Can you walk?" he asked the younger. Mingyu answered with a weak nod. 

"Okay, hold on until we get back. Can you do that, Gyu?" A nod came again.

Wonwoo then puts Mingyu's arm around his neck and lift him up to stand.

As they walked towards their apartment, Wonwoo kept saying words of encouragement to Mingyu who was scrunching his nose in pain. Apparently his knees were scrapped from falling too but it doesn't look as bad as his face. At least his pants were still okay, which means the scrape is not too bad.

When they arrived, Wonwoo knocked on Mingyu's door, revealing a shocked Mingyu's mother to see his son so beat up. She quickly ushered them to go inside so she can patch Mingyu up.

Mingyu's family has always been close with Wonwoo's. They share food whenever one makes too many, ask to watch for each other's unit when one goes out of town, and they help each other when one needs it. 

Wonwoo settled down on the sofa as Mingyu's mother applied some medicine to his face and his knees. Calmly, Wonwoo also told the story of what happened as Mingyu was still too busy crying over the pain. Apparently his nose broke but its nothing much to worry about. At this time, Mingyu's mother skills as a nurse definitely comes in handy.

"It's not your fault, Wonwoo. Thank you for always looking out for Mingyu. I'm glad that he has you." Mingyu's mother said softly when she tucked Mingyu to bed after. Mingyu's apparently too tired to wake up after crying so much.

She then said her goodbye to Wonwoo because it was time for her shift at the hospital. Wonwoo was welcome to stay for awhile if he wants until his parents return in a few hours and Wonwoo agreed to that.

After Mingyu's mother left, Wonwoo took to Mingyu's bedroom and saw the most amusing sight. An open mouthed Mingyu, snoring loudly with his blanket already thrown everywhere. But in that moment Wonwoo already vowed to himself that he'll try his best to protect Mingyu from whatever dangers that come at him.

\---

_"The sorry's that you don't mean_  
_are not so bad_  
_Once you get used to them_  
_I guess that's just how life goes_  
_I know that these things won't last"_

"It's the third letter this week but I still don't know who sent it," Mingyu said as he read the letter he got from his desk drawer this morning. "The handwriting is pretty though. Could it be that girl from the next class? Chaeyeon I think?"

Soonyoung and Seokmin only laughed at Mingyu's open mouth when he drew his conclusion. Wonwoo on the other hand just shook his head at Mingyu's antic while he took a bite of his kimbap his mother made for him.

It's the third day Mingyu got a letter from his secret admirer. The person obviously took their time to know about Mingyu since the letter always comes with Mingyu's favorite snack and words of encouragement for Mingyu's studies. Both are always effective to earn his attention. Wonwoo knows this because that's how they became friends with Soonyoung who brought snacks all the time and Seokmin that always spread enlightening words to people around them.

"It might be a guy though. The guy who sits next to me in class has a nice handwriting," Wonwoo pondered after he finished swallowing his kimbap.

"Nah this is definitely a girl. I can tell," Mingyu said. "Why would a guy even send me this? That's weird."

Wonwoo just kept silent at that. All ready with his poker face whenever Mingyu comments about another guy liking him. Soonyoung and Seokmin also laughed, not really on board with boys liking other boys at that time.

A couple weeks later, Mingyu came to Wonwoo with news of the secret admirer. It was true that the person is a girl, specifically Jung Chaeyeon, the girl from Mingyu's next door class. Mingyu told him all about his plans on the weekend to take her walking around Itaewon going to cafes, maybe do some shopping and karaoke. He also felt sorry that he won't be able to hang out with Wonwoo over the weekend for their movie night but Wonwoo just shrugged it off with a smile because it's obvious that Mingyu was excited. And Wonwoo doesn't really have the heart to stop him when he's excited.

Wonwoo's desicion to tell Soonyoung about his crush on Mingyu wasn't really planned. They were just joking around when Soonyoung came to visit his home and the topic of a gay couple came up. Soonyoung wasn't really supportive at first since he still doesn't understand the situation but when Wonwoo explained his feelings for Mingyu, he just nodded and said, "I guess love is love no matter who it is. I never really thought much about it. Sorry for being so insensitive about it."

Soonyoung became more careful about talking same-sex relationship after that. Being the more vocal one, he always try to change the topic or shut his friends down if they tried to joke about the topic. At the same time, Wonwoo can feel that his friend is wary about Mingyu's new found relationship with Chaeyeon, always sneaking a peek at Wonwoo whenever Mingyu talks about her.

"They haven't gotten together yet," Wonwoo said when they were alone. "I'll confess to him when I'm ready."

It was two weeks after Mingyu's last date with Chaeyeon when Wonwoo thought that he would just go up to him and confess. With Soonyoung's small and subtle lecture on same-sex relationship, Wonwoo hoped that it won't be too much to handle for Mingyu who was still so foreign with the idea. Since Mingyu hasn't hung out with Chaeyeon for two weeks, instead hanging out with Wonwoo, he thought that they were over already.

Before Wonwoo was able to say the words from his mouth, Mingyu already said, "I finally confessed to Chaeyeon and she said yes!"

Wonwoo wished the start of that relationship diminished his hope of ever getting with Mingyu but in the contrary, he still feels the heartache when he sees Mingyu. His heart still longs for what it wants but at the same time he wants Mingyu to be happy. So he lets him be and locked all his feelings away.

The break-up came a few months after that and Wonwoo was the one that held him as he cried. Wonwoo was the one that cheered him up with hot chocolate and movie nights. Wonwoo would confess but he thought, as long as I can make Mingyu happy this way, maybe it's enough for now.

\---

_"People claim all these things_  
_About love and how it works_  
_But they don't make sense to me_  
_It's like looking out on the window of a plane_  
_And seeing the night sky of an unknown city"_

"Is it weird if I like this guy?" Mingyu asked. 

They were doing their assignment at a coffee shop near their campus. The smell of coffee in the air brought comfort to Wonwoo and cleared his thoughts from all the stress that accumulated for the week. But the words that came out of Mingyu's mouth just blew all of it away.

"There's this guy I met in the library. At first I thought it's weird how he brings a cat plushie but I dunno it's kinda cute?" Mingyu continued. "Then he kinda helped me with the books I want to find and our hand kinda brushed and it was like. Wow. And his eyes are so pretty and his voice is so soft. Is it weird?"

Wonwoo shook his head. "It's as normal as the world go."

Mingyu smiled at that, teeth and all and continued typing away on his laptop, looking brighter from his new discovery. 

A little part of Wonwoo fell apart that day. Somewhere deep down, when Mingyu asked the first question, he had hoped that person was himself. Someone who cared for the younger all this time. But then again, Mingyu will never see him that way. So on that day, a cloudy Sunday with the smell of coffee in the air. Wonwoo felt that maybe coffee won't be his comfort anymore after all.

Soonyoung is still in contact with Wonwoo, despite him moving to the next city over where his parents found a new job. He said that he also found a college that he liked there so he got in. Being friends with Soonyoung reminds him of being friends with Mingyu, but without the feelings. Why can't he be friends with Mingyu without feelings? Must he feel the pain every time?

One night, Soonyoung called him with happy tears. "I finally got together with her!"

A girl named Yuna. She's the one Soonyoung has been talking about since the beginning of their second college year. The girl that Soonyoung kept sending him pictures of. Despite being genuinely happy for Soonyoung, Wonwoo wondered will he ever find someone that can heal his heart from Mingyu.

"You'll find someone, Won. I know you can get over him."

With those words, Wonwoo stepped into a bar filled with students from his campus drinking their night away after the midterm exams. Wonwoo would ask to go with Mingyu but he knows the younger was out on a date with this Junhui guy. He also knows that Mingyu is going to ask him to be his boyfriend that night. So Wonwoo decided to turn to his good friend, alcohol.

"You've been drinking all night," A guy sat down next to him said. Wonwoo turned his head from his third bottle of the night a looked at the man. The man looked pretty handsome, hair dyed to a dirty blonde color, a small smile painted on his face. "If I ask you for a dance, would you mind?"

For the first time that night, Wonwoo didn't mind dancing with another. As long as Mingyu won't be a shadow dancing on his thoughts.

They went out for awhile. 3 months was quite the dedication for Wonwoo. During that time, Mingyu was busy with Junhui and his piling assignments. The difference in class time also meant less time to meet even though they still live next to each other on the same apartment. Wonwoo would go to campus in the morning and come back in the evening, while Mingyu would go home late at night or usually stayed at Junhui's place. 

Changkyun was a nice guy to go out with. He's incredibly considerate and patient and doesn't mind quiet places. Their dates usually consists of samgyupsals or strolls on the Han River or sometimes a movie when they were feeling up for it. One time Wonwoo felt that Changkyun should be the one. He would feel content to be with him for the rest of his life. But all of that stopped when they broke up.

"I feel like your head is always somewhere else," Changkyun said. "I don't think it's me that'll clear your mind and I don't think it's me that you want."

A nice guy but Wonwoo threw it all away. That's how he's back and stuck with his thoughts about Mingyu.

The day he finally met Junhui is the day he won't forget. The moment he saw Mingyu with Junhui, he knows that he had lost. 

Mingyu had asked him to meet at the ice cream parlor near the Han River. Wonwoo knows it because it's the same one they come to all the time when they were little. They would come here during summer and sometimes during winter just to see who can handle the cold. Always, Wonwoo would lose. And at that day is just the same result.

"Wonwoo, I'd like you to meet Junhui."

Those are just a few simple words but Wonwoo understood completely the gleam of hope on Mingyu's face when he introduced the two most important people for him at that time. Wonwoo can hear the slight nerve on Mingyu's words. Wonwoo understood that Mingyu is serious with this guy. This is not another Chaeyeon from high school or the girls that Mingyu dated for only a couple of months on his first year. Mingyu has finally chosen the person to spend his life with and that person is not Wonwoo.

\---

_"Goodbye_  
_There's a finish line beyond this intertwined hands_  
_And whenever I try to stay longer in the now, the future throbs_  
_And I don't see you in it_  
_This truth makes me cry_  
_It's so painful"_

It was hard not to like Junhui. He's as childish as Mingyu but can be serious and caring at time, especially to Mingyu. Mingyu told him one time about how Junhui planned a surprise date to a dog cafe. He said it's one of the best moment of his life. After the dog cafe, they strolled along the Han River, enjoying the setting sun in the horizon when Junhui went down in one knee and proposed to him with a Shiba Inu plushie holding a silver ring for Mingyu to wear.

Besides the grand gesture, Mingyu also loved their small talks, about how Junhui came from China, about how Junhui loves spicy food and how he always have milk ready whenever they eat spicy food together, about how Junhui loves cats and they planned to adopt one and a dog when they live together in the future. All about Junhui made Mingyu feel alive and he will gladly enjoy the rest of his life with him.

Wonwoo still feels that ache on his heart that grows stronger and stronger as the day of Mingyu and Junhui's wedding party grows near. It wasn't exactly a wedding, but it is a party to celebrate their union in the future. Since South Korea still haven't legalized gay marriage, they will be married later in the New York where they will also go for their honeymoon. Something about wanting to ride the horse cart on Central Park and watching Broadway shows. 

Wonwoo was there every single step of the way. He helped Mingyu with organizing the flowers they used, and the food they're gonna serve, even the venue for the party. The only one that pushed him through is Soonyoung and his girlfriend who sent moral support on his phone, even went up to Seoul one time to help with the flowers. Mingyu definitely didn't mind the help and he was excited to know that Soonyoung also had a partner. Wonwoo wished it was the same for him.

Other than Soonyoung, Wonwoo also met up with Jihoon, Junhui's roommate and best friend since college. Together they were tasked to choose the venue on the east side of the city while Junhui and Mingyu went the opposite way. They just met, but Wonwoo liked the guy. He's blunt and straightforward and the silence they share is enjoyable. They found a perfect venue there, a small building with a garden on the back. A fitting place for a small ceremony and party. 

"They'll love this place," Wonwoo said as they wonder around the place. The big cherry blossom tree that was still dormant loomed the garden. It would be perfect for a spring wedding when it blooms in a few months. 

Jihoon nodded in agreement. "Especially that tree right? Would be pretty for them. They love these grand stuffs."

"Yeah," Wonwoo chuckled half-heartedly, wishing that he was the one marrying Mingyu under the cherry blossom tree.

Jihoon stopped in his tracks and asked, "You love him don't you?"

It made Wonwoo stop too. This is the first time someone actually asked about his feelings. Especially one that he just met today. He didn't know someone could be this blunt.

"I can see it in your face," Jihoon sighed. "I'm sure our happy couple don't see it though. They're pretty oblivious about lots of stuffs."

Wonwoo felt trapped but at the same time quite relieved he's able to talk to someone else than Soonyoung about his feelings. The Soonyoung who keeps pushing for him to confess but in the end it only brought up the pressure and made him just bottle up his feelings more.

"I know because we're the same," Jihoon continued. Wonwoo's ear perked at that and he turned around to face Jihoon who was sliding his hands through his jacket pockets, his breath slowly shaping to smoke in the cold winter. "Let's just get through this shall we?"

They never spoke about it again. They never contacted each other again. Until the fated day arrived.

Wonwoo came a little late that day after getting stuck in traffic because of a minor accident along the way. Arriving at the venue, the decorations were already set up. Mingyu asked for a rose quartz and serenity wedding because that's the color of the sky when Jun proposed to him. So the place was decorated a soft pink, blue, with a hint of white. Flowers flooded the corners of the area and round tables were set up near the walls for the feast after the ceremony.

Wonwoo asked the food vendor who was setting up the plates about the groom's whereabouts. The man only pointed upstairs without anymore hints and Wonwoo groaned for having to search the three rooms he know was located upstairs.

He knocked on the first door and found Junhui sitting on a chair probably playing some mobile games he talked about on his phone while his mother, who Wonwoo met the day before for the rehearsal, was in a discussion with a young man, who Wonwoo knows is Junhui's cousin from China, Minghao. Wonwoo didn't linger for long, only said his hellos and telling them that he's looking for Mingyu before he heads out to look in the other rooms. He only wondered that there's a man missing from Junhui's room when he opened the next door to find the said man.

Jihoon was crouched down on his knees, hands gripping his hair tightly and it took a sob for Wonwoo to realize the man was crying.

Jihoon took a glance at Wonwoo, who was closing the door and quickly stood up from the floor. His hands still shaking while he wipes of his tears. A sorrow smile graced his lips as he turned to Wonwoo and said, "It hurts doesn't it?"

It didn't take long for Wonwoo to agree with him. It's exactly how he feels.

"I'm sorry for crying here. It's not appropriate for them," Jihoon said as he plopped on the armchair inside the room. A sob still manage to slip out of his lips.

"Do you ever wonder why we hurt ourselves like this? What would happen if we just took the chance to tell them?" Jihoon questioned.

"We don't want to ruin anything," Wonwoo answered simply. "And we just want them to be happy."

"For their happiness," Wonwoo sighed. "Our sacrifice is enough."

Jihoon chuckled at that. "We're hopeless aren't we?"

Wonwoo nodded as he walked towards Jihoon who stood up from his seat. 

"Can you give me a hug so we can be over this quickly?" Jihoon asked, his somber eyes looking straight to his longing own. Two entities with their hearts broken apart, trying their best to mend their aching heart. Without hesitation, Wonwoo reached to circle his arms around the smaller man, trying to relieve each other from the pain. In that moment, they found comfort from each other and hoped that's it's enough for them to get back up.

"See you downstairs, Wonwoo," Jihoon said after they broke the hug. "And thank you." With that, Wonwoo was left alone. At least now, his heart was feeling slightly at ease.

The ceremony was simple. Just an exchange of ring under the cherry blossom tree. There's not many people either. Just families and close friends. But it was enough for couple to have the people who cares about them as witness to their sacred ceremony.

Dinner, the speeches, and the couple dance followed inside. Wonwoo already had a simple speech ready for Mingyu. One that he made genuinely not for the one his heart longs for but as his neighbor and his best friend after all this year. Jihoon who was placed in the same table as Wonwoo, followed after him with a similar story, but he added some funny events that made Junhui whoop loudly at him. He seemed proud of his speech as he threw a smile at Wonwoo. Not the sad one he saw earlier that day. But a real one that made Wonwoo's heart warm at the thought.

The dance came after. There are moments where Wonwoo thinks Mingyu is beautiful, some are when Mingyu fell asleep on his lap while doing some school assignment for the next day, some are when Mingyu found a spot to take pictures all over Seoul, and some are just when he gets excited over the little things as he always do. But the moment Mingyu took Junhui's hand for the dance, his big teethed smile spread across his lips, eyes gleaming with excitement, is probably the most beautiful Wonwoo has ever seen. 

Wonwoo glanced at Jihoon who was looking at Junhui the same way and Wonwoo didn't realized he was actually looking at the other man for too long. But the other man just took Wonwoo's hand from under the table and whispered to him, "I think we'll be alright."

Jihoon didn't let go of his hand until Mingyu asked for Wonwoo's hand with him after the couple dance. And at that moment, Wonwoo thought, he'll finally be alright.

_"If this and that were the fate of this romance_  
_I guess it's not so bad_  
_No forever, no promises and yet_  
_You're beautiful"_

**Author's Note:**

> I heard the song and right away I got to writing. I don't think I've ever written this fast for so long.
> 
> I actually wanted to toy around soulmates AU but ended up scraping that and making this without the soulmates bit.
> 
> Thank you for reading this story! Comments are always welcome and if you want to find me on twitter you can mention me on @like_wonu ~


End file.
